Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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