Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
