we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
