Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
