They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
