i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
