She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
