four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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