thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
