then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
