I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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