only if we run a train.
done.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
