She is in my trunk
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
