operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
