But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
accomplished twins. life is a go
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
