I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
