So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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