either way he was missing a nipple.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize