You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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