I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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