TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
