Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
