you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize