If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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