Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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