with your own penis?
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
