so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
