sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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