Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
