if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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