we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
