Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
