Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i was born a porn star she said
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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