I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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