it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
