Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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