she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
