So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
This is classic penis vs brain.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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