All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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