Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
