i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
