I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
