Soap is not a condiment
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Drunk is a universal language darling
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