I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
