11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize