Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
