giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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