im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
