dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
