My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
