But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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