you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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