Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
