Ambien. No doubt about it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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