So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
