we're blogging at a bar
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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