Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
