of course. lets lasso hookers.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize